It's Friday night, 9pm, and neither of us have eaten dinner. I am curled in a near fetal position on the sofa, praying the hammering and sawing will stop. Not just intermittently, but for the night.
He said it was shopping night, meaning a trip to the Home Depot. But now he's tearing apart more walls. They say nothing stresses a marriage like a remodel. But we've done 2 previous remodels, nearly equal in size and breadth to this one: a full kitchen remodel down to the wall studs and floor boards, and also a major window install and complete reframing in one room, including custom angled paneling and custom window sills and a round window with, yes, a custom round "sill" of sorts.
So why am I on the brink of screaming at him to stop? Or telling him I'm going to get dinner and I'll be back some time? Or just writing a note and driving somewhere quiet for a while? Oh, sure there was an incident during the kitchen remodel, late one evening installing the floor tiles and one just wouldn't sit flat. We kept replacing it, but it was only getting worse. It was driving me nuts. I finally said that either I had to stop or I had to kill him. Which also meant stopping, actually, but the point was made. I cleaned up, he finished putting that one in on his own, and by the next day, all was well again.
But this time is different. We're working a lot more evenings. With fulltime jobs. He was unemployed or partially employed during much of the kitchen remodel. The evening work is exhausting. Usually we try to be quiet, but the neighbors are out of town, so let the blades fly. We've got a deadline, an unstoppable deadline we are trying to meet this time around and so the option to have a relaxing evening after a day of work is no longer an option. We're becoming more than weekend warriors. We're weekend and evening and lunch break warriors. It's eat, sleep and breathe remodel. Well, when we get to eat.
I guess this is the punishment for a few days off. Three and a half days in scenic Montana, spent visiting his family and hanging out by the lake. It was pretty relaxing and seems so far away now even though we've been back for less than a week.
The guilt for not helping with whatever in the hell he's doing is strong, but I just can't take it any more. I need some rest, I need some food, I need some peace. Just for a little while. A few short hours until we start up in the morning. First the coffee grinder, then back to the grind.
He said it was shopping night, meaning a trip to the Home Depot. But now he's tearing apart more walls. They say nothing stresses a marriage like a remodel. But we've done 2 previous remodels, nearly equal in size and breadth to this one: a full kitchen remodel down to the wall studs and floor boards, and also a major window install and complete reframing in one room, including custom angled paneling and custom window sills and a round window with, yes, a custom round "sill" of sorts.
So why am I on the brink of screaming at him to stop? Or telling him I'm going to get dinner and I'll be back some time? Or just writing a note and driving somewhere quiet for a while? Oh, sure there was an incident during the kitchen remodel, late one evening installing the floor tiles and one just wouldn't sit flat. We kept replacing it, but it was only getting worse. It was driving me nuts. I finally said that either I had to stop or I had to kill him. Which also meant stopping, actually, but the point was made. I cleaned up, he finished putting that one in on his own, and by the next day, all was well again.
But this time is different. We're working a lot more evenings. With fulltime jobs. He was unemployed or partially employed during much of the kitchen remodel. The evening work is exhausting. Usually we try to be quiet, but the neighbors are out of town, so let the blades fly. We've got a deadline, an unstoppable deadline we are trying to meet this time around and so the option to have a relaxing evening after a day of work is no longer an option. We're becoming more than weekend warriors. We're weekend and evening and lunch break warriors. It's eat, sleep and breathe remodel. Well, when we get to eat.
I guess this is the punishment for a few days off. Three and a half days in scenic Montana, spent visiting his family and hanging out by the lake. It was pretty relaxing and seems so far away now even though we've been back for less than a week.
The guilt for not helping with whatever in the hell he's doing is strong, but I just can't take it any more. I need some rest, I need some food, I need some peace. Just for a little while. A few short hours until we start up in the morning. First the coffee grinder, then back to the grind.
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